Ask Troll R. R. Martin
HI
Anonymous

Hi.

I want to retreat into an impenetrable Tumblr Cave…

OOC:

…but I must emerge in the light of morning and act on a few promises I made to some family members and friends. 

Yet, do not let your hearts be troubled, GoTlings (Throners???). Whatevs. I shall write answers to all your damnably delicious questions over the weekend, and then we’ll resume our regular Troll-Bridge Toll activities come Monday afternoon (Texas time), I promise. Maybe not. I dunno. I’m a changeable Monster, aren’t I? 

Ooooh! ooh! OooOooH! I almost forgot! Tomorrow will be the debut issue of my new GoT-themed Rage Comic, “Unsullied Assemble!”

Here’s hoping y’all like it :D

—-Tyler,

AKA @bingingsnark
(The GRRM Troll’s biatch…) 

To really answer why I killed off Rob: Because it’s like Boromir’s death on crack, Robert E Lee has to lose, and it was the massacre of Gideon, TX, all rolled up into one. Seriously, folks. Good stuff :)

OOC: I remember throwing the fucking book across the fucking room after this chapter ended; that was over ten years ago now. It does not get more pleasant with each new viewing, and yet I must admit that this is possibly the best episode of #DarkTV I have yet witnessed. 

I am back in the saddle again, My darling, weird little followers on the interwebs. First of all, why are y’all so nice? There are more of you every day, and yet I haven’t posted in 3/4 of a year, at least! But I digres….

….Wellm as has probably become painfully obvious to all you pokers, clickers, linkers, and posters by now, I, Tyler So-and-So… [owner of the Tumblr account HaveThumbsWillBlog, the twitter account @bingingsnark, and co-runner of the ASK GRRM Troll Blog (I am just this asshole’s b*tch; Evil George is my Master),] … chose to forgo most Social Media for the last year or so. I was busy with my first job out of college and a startup journal / writer’s group I started with some other friends/alums, and had several health problems, etc.

To make a long story short…. (TooOoo LaaAaate):
Yet again, after a long break, the GRRM troll will be open for the business, i.e. the intimate exchange of cash (or pirated HBO) for lovable characters, a believable world, a wonderfully creative narrative … AND of COURSE, the bitterest tears and hatred.

I guess I’m back because of the R.W.; I want to see memes of it, but I don’t think I can handle it any more. I watched these characters die several times in rereads, then I watched the show almost praying that it WOULDN’T be faithful this one time. I don’t even know. This show is to big for any of us to fathom these days; the profound well never runneth dry! :)

And on that note, I shall bid you all and the twitterverse at large “Adieu for the Day” (See you tomorrow bright and early, ladies and germs).

—- The Texun named Tighlurr.

A Stark, a Lannister, a Baratheon, and a Targaryen walk into a bar…

badwolfy:

(I try to give fans what they want.)

(Further proof of Mr. Benioff’s & Mr. Weiss’s real endgame…)
There’s no need to worry. You can all rest easy. As I’ve said before, if I should die an untimely death, then all my notes and manuscripts will be burned on the spot.Besides, I’m sure Mr. Benioff & Mr. Weiss will conclude Game of Thrones with the only logical ending in my absence…(Ros will be crowned Queen of the 7 Kingdoms, after revealing herself to be the last Targaryen heir and single-handedly defeating the Others and all their undead hordes without even needing a freakin dragon, just her magical sassy whoreness.)

There’s no need to worry. You can all rest easy. As I’ve said before, if I should die an untimely death, then all my notes and manuscripts will be burned on the spot.

Besides, I’m sure Mr. Benioff & Mr. Weiss will conclude Game of Thrones with the only logical ending in my absence…

(Ros will be crowned Queen of the 7 Kingdoms, after revealing herself to be the last Targaryen heir and single-handedly defeating the Others and all their undead hordes without even needing a freakin dragon, just her magical sassy whoreness.)

Seriously guys, I thought we’d already established this…

300 Followers!



NUMFAR, DO THE DANCE OF JOY!

THANK YOU. THAT IS ALL. 

Tolkien would be ashamed of you…

Tolkien would be ashamed of you…

willwrite4cigs:

(The sigil of House Mouse is a bland gray silhouette against a bland blue-gray flower motif.)

willwrite4cigs:

(The sigil of House Mouse is a bland gray silhouette against a bland blue-gray flower motif.)

willwrite4cigs:

The Spider’s motto.

"Storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling." —-Varys

willwrite4cigs:

The Spider’s motto.

"Storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling." —-Varys

OOC: You are WELCOME, and THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH for reading this dinky little blog!

OOC: You are WELCOME, and THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH for reading this dinky little blog!

OOC: “@bingingsnark - my new twitter page”

https://twitter.com/#!/bingingsnark 

I finally conceded and made a twitter page - for me, the “real” me, not the Wise Troll-y One for whom I manage this blog. You can still expect a lot of snarkiness there, however, as the name implies. This twitter account is mostly for me to bitch & whine and rant & rave and gush & squee like a regular old FanBoi. It will not be limited to Game of Thrones / ASoIaF, though of course they will be prominently featured. Here are some other shows I’m into right now: Archer, Awake, Boardwalk Empire, Castle, Community, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Downtown Abbey, Dr. Who, Fringe, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Justified, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, Luther, Misfits, Modern Family, Person of Interest, Sons of Anarchy, Sherlock, Supernatural, The Venture Brothers, The Walking Dead, Wilfred, 30 Rock. (Keep in mind I’m still catching up on several of these.)    


Anyway, I’d really appreciate it if y’all would follow me there if you have a twitter account. This is also kind of a test run to see if there would be any interest for me to write a TV / Pop Culture blog. I’ve done that in the past and put a lot of time and effort into it, and am considering doing so again, but this time around I’d like to reach a much wider audience.

Thanks for reading this far! 
—- Tyler, AKA willwrite4cigs AKA Binging Snark AKA The GRRM Troll’s whipping boy. 

PS. Would y’all like a twitter page for the actual GRRM Troll?

RIDICULOUSLY HUGE SPOILERS FOR A STORM OF SWORDS / FUTURE SEASONS OF GAME OF THRONES (AGAIN)

Because suspiciously specific questions deserve suspiciously specific answers…